


Talk Less (Type More)

by Ravenesta



Series: Alexander 'National Disaster' Hamilton [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton Being Alexander Hamilton, Crack, Modern AU, Swearing, Texting, and not knowing how to shut the FUCK UP, dont ask me for context tho, i mean theres lams if u squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 18:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenesta/pseuds/Ravenesta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The most recent text conversations in Alexander Hamilton's phone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Less (Type More)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [every day is a gift that's why they call it the present](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4894066) by [screamlet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamlet/pseuds/screamlet). 



**A HAM**  
do u think tjeff would support my immigration reform plan if i like  
idk  
offered to suck his dick??  
i mean you know me laurens im very good with my tongue  
in more ways than one  
;)

 

**J LAW(RENS)**  
Ok  
1: no  
2: jefferson DEFINITELY got better bjs in france than he could ever get from you  
3: if you ever use a winky face again so help me alexander hamilton, i will DISOWN your ass and make sure your wife knows what she's married

 

**A HAM**

:(

 

* * *

 

**ANGELICA**  
John just sent me the best screenshots  
 

**A HAM**  
dont even start  
  


**ANGELICA**  
I'm sending these to Eliza and Washington  
This shit is gonna go down in history  
Secretary of Treasury, the respected Alexander Hamilton, considered bribing Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson with oral sex, while in the same breath flirting with John Laurens  
And using a WINKY FACE!!

   
 **A HAM**  
you are the worst  
the WORST  
 

**ANGELICA**  
Do you still have Charles Lee's number?  
  


**A HAM**  
i officially have another reason to hate burr  
he forgot to warn me that the schuyler sisters are FUCKING EVIL

 

* * *

 

**A HAM  
** look all im saying is that your political strategy of staying neutral until you get reelected wont work in the long term because eventually the people of new york are gonna get sick of the fact that their senator has LITERALLY NO ACTUAL POLITICAL BELIEFS

****  
BURR (SIR)  
Alexander, you can't just continue a conversation we had in person by texting me out of the blue, in the middle of a sentence.

   
 **A HAM**  
i dont see why not  
 

**BURR (SIR)**  
We were having this conversation a month and a half ago.  
  


**A HAM  
** your point?

 

* * *

 

**A HAM**  
so when we do actually establish a consistent structure for cabinet meetings  
there will be bathroom breaks right?  
and also 'give everyone five minutes to cool off so nobody punches thomas jefferson in the fucking face' breaks  
  


**GEORGE MOTHERFUCKING WASHINGTON**  
Hamilton, you only have my personal phone number in case of strictly urgent matters. Otherwise, please go through my chief of staff, like everyone else.  
 

**A HAM**  
that guy??? are you kidding?????? could you have picked someone with a more grating voice?  
and more PRETENTIOUS, dear god  
all 'president washington is currently occupied, hell get back to you at his earliest convenience'  
like BITCH PLEASE i know its his lunch hours  
he aint doing shit except watching house of cards and stressing  
KNOCK KNOCK, OPEN UP CHUCKLEFUCK HAMILTONS GOTTA TALK  
 

**GEORGE MOTHERFUCKING WASHINGTON  
** Those 'cooling off' breaks are starting to sound like a good idea.

 

* * *

 

**CHIEF OF BITCHES  
** POTUS respectfully requests that if you must use his personal number, that you at least use appropriate language.

   
 **A HAM**  
you know i hate you right  
  


**CHIEF OF BITCHES  
** I'm aware. The point still stands.

**Author's Note:**

> literally dont ask me for context for this au i have no fucking clue i just wanted to write alexander hamilton who doesnt actually think before hitting 'send' when he writes a text and i kind of fell in love w/ screamlet's format in 'every day is a gift'
> 
> (also 10000% probably factually incorrect because i, like our dear treasury secretary, am an immigrant, but i never actually learned how american politics do/did work)
> 
> EDIT 5/12/16: fixed the dumb formatting :p


End file.
